6-14. How can you demonstrate good business sense in the choices you make regarding message distribution? [LO-6]
6-18. Evaluating the Work of Other Writers [LO-1] Find a blog post (at least three paragraphs long) on any business-related topic. Evaluate it using the 10 questions on page 157. Email your analysis to your instructor, along with a permalink (a permanent link to this specific post, rather than to the blog overall) to the blog post.
6-19. Revising for Readability (Sentence and Paragraph Length) [LO-2] Rewrite the following paragraph to vary the length of the sentences and to shorten the paragraph so it looks more inviting to readers:
Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor league baseball games because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America’s pastime. Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams, including the New Haven Ravens, who are affiliated with the St. Louis Cardinals; the Norwich Navigators, who are affiliated with the New York Yankees; and the New Britain Rock Cats, who are affiliated with the Minnesota Twins. These teams play in relatively small stadiums, so fans are close enough to see and hear everything, from the swing of the bat connecting with the ball to the thud of the ball landing in the outfielder’s glove. Best of all, the cost of a family outing to see rising stars play in a local minor league game is just a fraction of what the family would spend to attend a major league game in a much larger, more crowded stadium.
6-20. Revising for Readability (Sentence Length) [LO-2] Break the following sentences into shorter ones by adding more periods, and revise as needed for smooth flow:
The next time you write something, check your average sentence length in a 100-word passage, and if your sentences average more than 16 to 20 words, see whether you can break up some of the sentences.
Don’t do what the village blacksmith did when he instructed his apprentice as follows: “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil, and when I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.” The apprentice did just as he was told, and now he’s the village blacksmith.
Unfortunately, no gadget will produce excellent writing, but using a yardstick like the Fog Index gives us some guideposts to follow for making writing easier to read because its two factors remind us to use short sentences and simple words.
Know the flexibility of the written word and its power to convey an idea, and know how to make your words behave so that your readers will understand.
Words mean different things to different people, and a word such as block may mean city block, butcher block, engine block, auction block, or several other things.
6-21. Editing for Conciseness (Unnecessary Words) [LO-3] Cross out unnecessary words in the following phrases:
Consensus of opinion
Long period of time
At a price of $50
6-22. Editing for Conciseness (Long Words) [LO-3] Revise the following sentences using shorter, simpler words:
My antiquated PC is ineffectual for solving sophisticated problems.
It is imperative that the pay increments be terminated before an inordinate deficit is accumulated.
There was unanimity among the executives that his behavior was cause for a mandatory meeting with the company’s human resources director.
The impending liquidation of the company’s assets was cause for jubilation among the company’s competitors.
The expectations of the president for a stock dividend were accentuated by the preponderance of evidence that the company was in good financial condition.
6-23. Editing for Conciseness (Lengthy Phrases) [LO-3] Use infinitives as substitutes for the overly long phrases in these sentences:
For living, I require money.
They did not find sufficient evidence for believing in the future.
Bringing about the destruction of a dream is tragic.
6-24. Editing for Conciseness (Lengthy Phrases) [LO-3] Rephrase the following in fewer words:
In the near future
In the event that
In order that
For the purpose of
With regard to
It may be that
In very few cases
With reference to
At the present time
There is no doubt that
6-25. Editing for Conciseness (Lengthy Phrases) [LO-3] Revise to condense these sentences to as few words as possible:
We are of the conviction that writing is important.
In all probability, we’re likely to have a price increase.
Our goals include making a determination about that in the near future.
When all is said and done at the conclusion of this experiment, I’d like to summarize the final windup.
After a trial period of three weeks, during which time she worked for a total of 15 full working days, we found her work was sufficiently satisfactory so that we offered her full-time work.
6-26. Editing for Conciseness (Unnecessary Modifiers) [LO-3] Remove all the unnecessary modifiers from these sentences:
Tremendously high pay increases were given to the extraordinarily skilled and extremely conscientious employees.
The union’s proposals were highly inflationary, extremely demanding, and exceptionally bold.
6-27. Editing for Clarity (Hedging) [LO-3] Rewrite these sentences so that they no longer contain any hedging:
It would appear that someone apparently entered illegally.
It may be possible that sometime in the near future the situation is likely to improve.
Your report seems to suggest that we might be losing money.
I believe Yolanda apparently has somewhat greater influence over employees in the inbound marketing department.
It seems as if this letter of resignation means you might be leaving us.
6-28. Editing for Clarity (Indefinite Starters) [LO-3] Rewrite these sentences to eliminate the indefinite starters:
There are several examples here to show that Elaine can’t hold a position very long.
It would be greatly appreciated if every employee would make a generous contribution to Draymond Cook’s retirement party.
It has been learned in Washington today from generally reliable sources that an important announcement will be made shortly by the White House.
There is a rule that states that we cannot work overtime without permission.
It would be great if you could work late for the next three Saturdays.